Fearless in the Spotlight The “None of Your Business” Rule
- Cécile Bastien Remy
- 4 days ago
- 2 min read
“What others think of you is none of your business.”
(This quote is often attributed to Eleanor Roosevelt)
The problem
You’ve been chosen to brief the board. Numbers polished, slides tight. Then the Chair lifts an eyebrow. Your throat shrinks. Your inner sound engineer dials every doubt to max: Do they like me? Do I sound smart? Should I talk faster?In less than a heartbeat your focus slides off the deck and into the echo chamber in your head. Attention leaks. Presence dies. Your ideas, excellent or well-priced, never reach the room.
The dinner-table story
I learned this early, wedged between two math-whiz siblings who turned dinner into a quiz show. My brother smirks: “So, Cécile, how’s school?”Cheeks flare. I fire louder jokes, wider smiles, anything to erase the sting of nullité crasse (“complete failure”). It didn’t work then. It won’t work now.
Fast-forward: I coach billion-dollar CEOs. Different table, same question: Are you enough? Suits are sharper, stakes are higher, but the script repeats until we choose a rewrite.
The reframe
Focus is finite. Spend it predicting judgments and you steal it from delivering value. Enter one ruthless rule, clear, sharp, non-negotiable:
“My opinion of me is my business; yours is yours.”
Keep that boundary and the brain finally has bandwidth for what matters: insight, connection, impact.
The N.O.Y.B. Reset. Your 90 seconds to reclaim the room
N.O.Y.B. = None Of Your Business.
N — Name it Whisper, “I’m feeling judged.”
Label yank emotions into daylight.
O — Own it Hand to chest, breathe 4-4-6.
Body leads, brain follows.
Y — Yield it Say, “Not mine to manage.”
Trash the mental pop-ups.
B — Bring value Ask, “What does this audience need now?”
Ego off. Service on.
Run the reset before you un-mute Zoom, stride into the boardroom, or step to the mic. Watch the noise drop. Watch clarity snap back into place.
Your challenge
Use N.O.Y.B. once today, during a meeting, a negotiation, even a Saturday family call. Send me a 50-word reflection with #NoneOfYourBusiness (cecile@speak4impact.net). I’ll spotlight the first ten shares in the next edition.
Dare to be none of their business,
Your Truly,
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